Nursery madness

The BBC have been in trouble lately for being silly enough to rewrite the nursery rhyme ‘Humpty Dumpty’ to wipe out any reference to his demise. In fact, far from being left a pile of shell fragments on the ground, Humpty was ‘made happy’ again. http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/no-rhyme-or-reason-in-humpty-rewrite-20091023-hddq.html
Ludicrous as this idea seems, I’ve been having some fun of my own, rewriting a few classics. I can’t make my new endings rhyme. I’m not that clever. But it’s fun. Why don’t you try it?

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To get her poor doggy a bone,
But when she got there, the cupboard was bare,
And so she phoned out for a pizza.

Rock-a-bye baby
On the tree top,
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks,
The cradle won’t fall,
Because of the U-Beaut Super-Safe straps
Mum’s used to harness it to the trunk.

London Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down,
London Bridge is falling down,
But maintenance crews are onto it
And there’ll be only a slight delay in travel time.

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her
And caught all the flies that had been bothering her.