Sunday, 2 October 2011

Scams and Shams


I ‘Googled’ my books last night, as I do about once a week to see if I’ve missed any reviews etc and was shocked to find a site that seemed to be offering my books for sale. Horror! I’d been pirated! But on further investigation from friends with more intelligence than me, it became clear that in fact, the site didn’t have my books or anyone else’s books. It was just a big scam to get money off those who would like to download free books rather than pay for them. 

After that little adventure, I went on and found another site offering ‘The Dragon Box’ for sale. Again it was a ruse, what for I’m not quite sure, but the ‘extract’ it had for the book had me in stitches. Another Perth writer, Meg McKinlay, once blogged on something similar she’d found as a ‘review’ of one of her books. It’s obviously a conglomeration of phrases from a huge number of books, but I don’t recognise any of them. The result, though, is hilarious –

“The claims stewart justice being thus satisfied and the majesty katie the law fully vindicated, the deceased crocodile is lamented and buried like a kinsman; a mound is raised over his relics and a stone marks the place of his head. If possible keep breast halves in a separate pan from legs and thighs as they will cook more quickly. For some time it had influenced the kings mind. For the first time in his life, he did long for revenge,-revenge against the one for stealing his patrimony, and refusing his hand; and that revenge he hoped to gratify. Der Herr hat auch wohl den schwarzen Storch gesehen, der nicht weit von der Burg auf einer abgestumpften Buche horstet. I saw the torches Flash on their visages a dreadful light- I saw them whilst the black blood rolld adown Each stern face, even then with dauntless eye Scowl round contemptuous, dying as they lived, Fearless of fate. " Mrs. Through these hidden caves I found my way; but your young feet may the dragon the mountain summits.”

Doesn’t that just make you itch to read The Dragon Box? 

Heaven knows where all the lines came from, though they did cite Shakespeare at the end. Ah, I needed a good laugh.

3 comments:

Jen said...

That's fabulous! Almost poetry!

Ryan Sullivan said...

Fabulously terrible. I especially like the German setence.

Kate said...

It's fun, isn't it? I like the dash of German, too. Adds a little mystery to it!