Dear Father Christmas, Santa Claus, St Nicholas,
I thought I should send you a little note of explanation about my daughter's Christmas wish list, which she hid by the door for your elves yesterday. It's mainly about the first item - 'A wand.' Now I need to stress here that this is not just any wand she wants. She doesn't want one of those cheap plastic jobs with the painted jewels that you can get from any Two Dollar shop. Nor does she want a piece of dowel painted black with a white end, like you might find in a magic set. No, she wants a real wand, a wand that will make the mess in her bedroom vanish and turn her brother into a rabbit. I just thought I'd better clarify that. I'm glad it's you that has to find it and not me.
The other things on her list are fairly self-explanatory. I'm not sure why she wants the 'remote control Barbie Car'. She's never asked for a Barbie doll. I suspect it's the 'remote control' part that's the important bit. She likes remote control cars. So did her brother until she broke both the ones he owned. Maybe you could give her brother one too? Not Barbie's of course! On second thoughts, maybe not. I can just imagine the high-speed head-on collisions in the hallway.
I do hope you can manage to find what she's asked for. She has been a good girl all year...most of the time.
Miss Madam's Mum