I’m having a really hard time writing blog posts lately. As I said last time, it’s not because I’ve not had anything going on. I went to French and Saunders (very funny) and I’ve been to a local amateur dramatics production of ‘Love Begins at Fifty (also very funny). I’ve been to a writing workshop aimed at novelists that was extremely helpful. I’ve been on a staff retreat. I wouldn’t blog about that, but I might mention it. (Oh, I just did!) I’ve been the beneficiary of a number of wonderful acts of kindness that really deserve a mention.
So why am I not blogging? Well, basically because recently more people I know in the ‘real’ world have been discovering my presence on the Internet and I’m feeling a lot more self–conscious than I did. While the people who used to read all this stuff were cyberfriends I felt fine. I maintained a degree of anonymity. But the other day Eldest came home from school and told me that he and his English teacher (who’s also in my writing group) had looked up my website. It’s a short step from there to here (so, hello you two!). I know a lot of people blog simply so that their family know what they’re up to. But to me it feels really strange. Of course, it’s possible that lots of people I know have been reading my diatribes for ages without telling me, but while I didn’t know, it didn’t matter. The truth is it really shouldn't make any difference. I'm not two different people, one in cyberspace and one in the real world, so why do I feel this way?
This doesn’t bode well for me if/when I ever get published, does it? Am I going to feel as terrible about people I know reading my books? As a general rule, I'm not keen to show my work to people I know, though I do read chapters at writing group, albeit nervously. I’m going to have to get over this self-consciousness aren’t I? Any suggestions on how I do that?
Anyway, welcome to everyone I know in the real world or out there in cyberspace. If I say anything really stupid, please just don’t tell me you’ve read it!